Jenn Ngeth
Jennifer Ngeth is my legal name. Yet, I despise being called “Jennifer.” The commonality of the name and my unpleasant memories tied to it has caused me to reject it. But “Jenn” felt right. It was short, straight to the point, and was the name I was called since birth. My last name is different from my mother’s. I remember the first time I heard my mother say my last name out loud. It was the first day of Headstart and just as easily as it slipped out of my mother’s mouth, it was too slippery for my teacher to pronounce. In an attempt to make it easier, my mother changed the pronunciation to “Nee-Yet”―the start to years of never knowing how to say my last name in Khmer. I’m unsure of where my last name comes from. Maybe my deceased father? The problem is he’s only referred to as “Bong Bros” (Big brother) in the rare times when he is mentioned. There’s a whole half of my genetic makeup that brings up feelings of confusion in my existence. But as I became an adult, it made me realize the power I have in being in the unknown. I get to transform and become my most authentic self where I control my narrative and identity. That’s when I decided to destroy the self of “Jennifer” and just be “Jenn.” In a way, without the restrictions of having to carry on someone else’s name, I have the freedom of molding myself into the person I am and want to be, instead of being fearful of who I may become like.
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